I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
