I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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