its not stalking. its research.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
