like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize