Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
