i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Are we still banned from the library?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
