I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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