if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
