Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize