This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
