if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
