I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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