do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
