I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
honey bunches of taint.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
