Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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