Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
