The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
