So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
