idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
