we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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