Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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