I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
