To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
