dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I need to stop coming to work sober
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh god it's open bar.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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