A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
