Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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