Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
