I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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