Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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