I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
