Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am mentally ready for anal.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
