I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
