nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
