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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude i'm inner monologue high
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
