Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
are you so shy because you have an std?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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