Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i think i have two assholes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
