I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
