just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
its not stalking. its research.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
