direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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