i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Randomize
