a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
