dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
