I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
