yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
