She announced her abortion via fbk
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
