Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Randomize
