He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this just has baby written all over it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
being pregnant is like rehab
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
