I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm always down for nudity.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
