I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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