good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize