Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
