Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
