dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize