omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It's just like the Real World with babies
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
