Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
