HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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