I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
