Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
