she was so not down for the gang bang
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
