conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
