Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
