Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
