They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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