I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
