When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
