It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
